Q&A of my current job

What makes me from loving my job to nothing but hate toward it?

Some background info is needed to explain things.

Solving problems!
- Of ALL problems my senior throws at me
  - I solved ALL of them perfectly
  - AND proudly, for my creativity
I am needed!
- Things that I did is useful – someone will used it!

Things not matter!
- Everything is trivial, anyone can do it, even my senior alone can do it
- Most of the things I built is dead, didn’t see production at all
- I can deny things from my senior
  - IF I can choose to not to do, then it is not important at all
What/Who am I working for?
- So many ridiculous things.
- Am I working for the client? OR someone trying to guess the customer need? <- This frustrates me the most
Why I receive no credit for so many things/role I did?
- Every company I interviewed are impressed/surprised for the things I did
Then I realized:
- This company/team/department just don’t care about technical at all
- “High level High level High level” is what they want

Nothing to do, literally
- I already learn every things I can, every things a DevOps/System en. should know
- I played 2 mobile games at work, then even grow tired of both
- I read countless webpage about technology stacks, new software, features, updates
- I setup a personal k8s with lots of apps on it
- I got 2 certs partially out of boredom, only costs me 1 week or so to prepare
- Hell, I even taught my senior to get her own cert, and successfully
I have run out of things to do
- Time pass slower and slower as a result
- Reminded me my “work” in “internship” at China, which I totally hate it. I never hate something so badly.
- Time in office increasing like the “internship”
I learn nothing
- Tried to learn about my job/company, only more and more dislike toward them

I keep telling my senior about the meaningless of my job
- Only to find out more and more trivial tasks
- Sometime I maybe blamed her for this
- But now, I realized there’s nothing she can do to help me anyway
- It was never her fault, the company is to be blamed

I took many AL
I actually tried my first beer in my life, in hope of making me happy
- It is terrible, will never drink again
- Drink expensive juices are more euphoric
- Cheap juice beer tastes like fake juice
- Only gave me headache, which I rarely have
I went to watch the sunset today (Oct 4, 2022)
- Ok ish

BUT,

The second I think about going to office, my mood just tumble, more than stock market
- Just HATE sitting there, do nothing, wasting my life

I am a two edged sword
- I am excel at doing any technical things
- But I look for the meaning of doing so
  - I HATE doing meaningless things (at work)
I fulfill my job, and very well
- I am still proud of what I have completed
- I completed everything my senior threw at me
Maybe I need to become someone, that has the power to put a middle finger to customer for unreasonable things
- Or just accept work is meaningless